1 Corinthians 7

Big Idea: Time is short and serving God must be the highest priority.

There are several things to keep in mind as you study through this chapter. Paul was writing to people who lived in a city where sexual immorality was celebrated. Also, Paul was convinced that Jesus would soon return, and this gave him a sense of urgency regarding the spread of the gospel. It helps when reading through this passage to think about the questions that Paul might be answering.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2

We tend to overreact. Moderation is difficult. I struggle with managing my blood sugar. I also love cookies. If there are cookies on the counter, I will eat at least half a dozen in a day. My body could easily handle one a day, but I can’t discipline myself to maintain that limit. My solution is to ask my wife to not make cookies. If there are no cookies, then no discipline is required.

The Corinthians are surrounded by sexual immorality. As we saw in the last chapter sexual activity is built into their worship of their gods. There is no way to remove the temptation and remain in Corinth. The Jewish believers in the congregation may not have struggled with this, but the Gentile believers were active participants in this activity until they came to know Jesus. I think they are asking Paul if sexual activity is evil and something they need to eliminate from their lives. Paul’s answer recognizes that sexual desire is real and that there is a place to have that desire fulfilled. Fulfillment of sexual desire comes in marriage.

1. How does Satan tempt us with good things?

2. How does Paul’s instruction regarding our sexuality apply to other areas of our lives?

3. What would you like to ask Paul?

1 Corinthians 7:3-7

In the first verses we looked at how Paul answers the question about unmarried people having sex. In this section Paul addresses the issue of sex within marriage. His answer is just as counter cultural today as it was when it was originally written. He makes the point that sexual intercourse within marriage is not intended to meet a personal desire, but instead is designed to be other focused. Just as we belong to God, we also belong to our marriage partner. Our focus as husbands and wives should be on the needs and desires of our partner. This is the opposite of a continual focus on our selfish desires.

We may not have pagan temples with temple prostitutes, but it is just as easy today to attempt to satisfy sexual desires without involving our marriage partner. Paul recognizes this as a reality and instructs us to be intentional about our sexual relationship. Fasting from sexual activity can be a good thing if husband and wife agree to do it together. Again, this isn’t one partner telling the other partner what to do. This is a picture of both partners working together.

1. Paul is talking about sexual relations within marriage. What are some other areas of married life that these principles could be applied to?

2. How much of your married life is done together?

3. What is the greatest sexual temptation that you must battle? How could your spouse help you in that battle?

1 Corinthians 7:8-9

Is it okay to marry? I think this is the question. Paul’s preferred state for believers is singleness. However, acknowledging our weakness he answers the question with a qualified yes. Being married is better than constantly falling to the temptation of sexual immorality.

1. Why does Paul say that it is better to stay unmarried?

2. Why does Paul say it is okay for Christians to marry?

1 Corinthians 7:10-11

When Paul wrote this the concept of a wife divorcing her husband was impossible. All the wife could do is walk away. The question is, is it okay to dissolve a marriage. Unfortunately, in our culture the question for Christians has become when is it okay for me to divorce my spouse. For the rest of the culture the answer is anytime marriage gets hard. Marriage is hard. It has always been a challenge for two selfish sinners to partner together in life. I believe that Jesus makes this easier, but it is still a challenge. Paul didn’t have to wonder about this question. Jesus was very clear.

And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” 10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” (Matthew 19:3-10 ESV)

1. Why is preserving marriages so important to God?

2. What does the question the Corinthians ask Paul reveal regarding the marriages in the church?

3. What is the impact on the church of a Christian couple divorcing?

1 Corinthians 7:12-17

I don’t begin to understand everything that Paul says here. What is clear is the importance of a Christian remaining in a marriage even when it is uncomfortable. I think the question was what a spouse should do when they decide to follow Jesus and their partner does not agree. Paul’s answer is that the believing spouse should stay in the marriage. If the marriage continues there is the possibility that the unbelieving spouse will be led to believe.

I can’t imagine how difficult this is. My wife and I grew up as preacher’s kids. Our shared love for God is one of the things that drew us together. With all that in common there have still been some very difficult times in our marriage. Neither of us is a perfect person. Even though it is often hard to do, we do understand that our commitment to one another is to work to make the other the best he or she can be. The only way to do this is to stay.

1. What differences of opinion have made your marriage challenging?

2. How has your relationship with Jesus given you the commitment to stay?

3. How has your spouse’s relationship with God strengthened your own relationship with God and your spouse?

1 Corinthians 7:18-24

Should I stay or should I go? I can’t count the number of times I’ve asked that question. I think Paul’s answer to that question is to stay unless God is clearly calling you to something better. Paul is not saying that we should stay the same. One of Paul’s consistent messages is that we should be continually changing to become more like Jesus. The way we do that is to allow God to change us through our circumstances rather than asking God to make us more comfortable by changing our circumstances.

I would be dishonest if I didn’t acknowledge that there are times when going is the wisest thing to do. Removing yourself from an abusive marriage is one example that is getting much discussion on the Internet. Leaving a situation that is physically intolerable would be another example. I’m sure there are other exceptions. Paul’s point is that these situations should be exceptions. Our default answer should always be stay. All too often our default answer is go.

Long ago I read some advice on how to make this decision. If you are running away from something, then the answer for you is to stay. God probably has some work for you to do where you are. If you going to something, then the answer for you is to go. God probably has some new work for you to do in a new place.

1. What circumstances would you like to leave? How is God using those circumstances for your growth?

2. If you are planning on leaving, what are you going to?

3. If you are staying, what does God want to change in you?

1 Corinthians 7:25-35

I think this is the core of what Paul wants to communicate to the Corinthians and to us. This world is temporary, and it is full of trouble. Paul’s warning is just as valid today as when he first wrote it. Our desire should be to love God with every part of our being. We are also to love our neighbor as ourselves. There is no neighbor closer than a spouse.

Paul sees our relationship with God taking second place to two things: stuff and relationships. What if a government official knocked on your door and asked you to deny that Jesus is Lord? If you did not make this denial, then all your stuff would become the property of the government. You would be tossed out of your house with the clothes on your back. You would be homeless unless you were arrested. What would you do? Paul wants us to live as if this was a very real possibility at any time. He wants us to treat our stuff as if it could disappear in a moment. This should motivate us to live as simply as possible.

The relationship challenge is even more complicated, and we find Paul being very realistic here. His desire for all believers is that we be ready and willing to respond to God’s call wherever that might take us. He recognizes that anyone with a spouse and family cannot do that. We have made relational commitments and God expects us to honor those. If we are called, we must go together. Remember that Paul has already instructed those who are married to unbelievers to remain in those marriages. The commitment that has been made in marriage places real limits on the freedom of the married person.

Paul’s recommendation is for those who are single to remain single. However, remember that earlier in this chapter he notes there are reasons this is not possible for everyone. Marriage is preferable to a single life filled with the sin of sexual immorality.

1. What other kinds of commitments challenge our ability to place the highest priority on serving God?

2. If you were called to the foreign mission field, what would have to change in your lifestyle?

3. How well does the expression “use things and love people” fit what Paul is saying here?

4. Which do you find more distracting: stuff or relationships?

1 Corinthians 7:36-40

Paul addresses some final questions before he moves on to another topic. What should an engaged man do if he is not yet married? Can a woman remarry if her husband dies? In answer to the first question Paul tells us that engagement is not marriage. If the marriage has not been consummated, then the virgin remains a virgin and it is okay to either get married or end the engagement. Here is an example of the will of God including two totally different paths. Paul makes it clear that choosing marriage or singleness in this case are both within God’s will and not sin. I’m sure Paul would recommend serious prayer about the decision, but in the end either direction is right.

Paul’s answer to the question of remarriage is the first answer in this section that reflects some cultural bias. The Corinthians didn’t ask if a man could remarry after his wife died. The answer to this question was assumed to be yes. They did ask if a woman could remarry after her husband died and Paul’s answer was yes. From Paul’s perspective singleness is preferable to marriage, but marriage is fully within God’s will. The only restriction that Paul places on the remarriage of a widow is that she marries a man who is a believer.

1. If a 21st century church in America was sending a letter to Paul, what questions would it include related to the topic of marriage?

2. What would be some valid reasons for breaking off an engagement?

3. Why is it so important for a believer to marry a believer?